Amy, now that you've left your mortal body behind and have traveled beyond our earthly bonds, I hope that somehow you can hear me wherever you are. I imagine that the trivilaities of life have lost their meaning and you have found true freedom. However, just in case, on the very unlikely chance that you may be listening from beyond, I have something to say.
I believed in you and I was pulling for you. I know addiction was hard to escape. I also know you would never have chosen to be a junky, a crack head, or an alcoholic. I am disappointed that you couldn't come out of the fog long enough to realize your body was failing. I am sad that instead of taking that last hit, you didn't hear the small voice of reason telling you to put the pipe down, walk out your front door and scream for help.
Maybe your mental faculties were too far gone and your frail malnourished body simply couldn't take it any longer. Make no mistake. You are responsible for picking up the pipe, Amy. No one forced you to do it. But I believe your friends and your family were enablers who let you down when they should have been working to shield you from the people who only cared about what they could take from you. In the foggy haze of drug addiction, you're helpless and manipulative people know it. I wish someone had come to your aid with the police and a court order to take over your life until you could run it yourself. Although I am loathe to place any blame on your parents, I do wonder where they were? They had been so engaged before. Maybe you pushed them away. Maybe you manipulated them into thinking you were doing fine. Parents want to believe the best of the children. I am sure they are asking themselves if there was something, anything else they could have done to save you. And where was dear Blake who claimed to love you so much? He was willing to sit and watch the woman he loved waste away. You deserved so much better.
The song I most loved to hear Amy sing had nothing to do with drugs or rehab.
The loss of someone so beautiful and with such talent, in the prime of their lives is tragic, and should have never happened to you, Amy. I hope you weren't alone when the end came. I hope you weren't afraid. I hope you weren't in pain. I hope you have finally found the peace you kept looking for in that crack pipe. At least we all can find some solace in knowing that we don't have to worry about you anymore. We are saddened that you left us so soon, but at least now we know, nothing can harm you anymore and someday we'll touch your hand and see your face again. You'll be singing. RIP Amy.